Hi everyone. I wanted to thank you for all of your kind responses to Erin’s newsletter last week, your support means a lot to us both.
Erin is such a rockstar and I’m so proud of her for going through this not once, but seven times. The process is unbelievable and I have so much respect for those who keep trying like we have. I want this to be successful and I want to have a family, but this has been tough on her and I sometimes can’t help but feel a little helpless, watching from the sidelines. There are days where Erin will be on the other side of the house going through her routine and I want to help, but she tells me no, “I got this.” I can’t do much besides be supportive and be there for anything and everything.
Since Erin’s last article came out I’ve had friends who have also gone through this process reach out to me. I had no idea that they had to go through this too! Everyone that’s texted me who has also been through this process has been successful, which is encouraging to hear. I’m glad that we aren’t the only ones who have had a hard time with this. Hearing these stories really helps us bring things into perspective—you never truly know what others have gone through. There are so many people dealing with what Erin and I are.
This is definitely not an easy thing for us to go through. It can be hard to see many of our friends have two, three kids fairly easily, but this past week has reminded us that we never know how easy it is for anyone. Like Erin said, this isn’t something that is usually discussed so openly.
As a partner, I can only be as supportive as I can, and be there every step of the way. Knowing that there might be a tough day or two ahead, the best thing I can do is to try and keep everything as positive and stress-free as I can. Stress can do crazy things to the human body—I know this from playing hockey. But it’s not just physical. This process can take a mental toll on us as well, which can manifest in so many surprising ways.
One of our favorite things we do to unwind is take our dog Howard for a nice long walk around the neighborhood to talk about things and just enjoy the peace and quiet of the outdoors. He always puts a smile on our face; he’s our firstborn, our first kid and truly gets all the love. He keeps us in a good mood.
All in all I’ve learned that it’s more important than ever to be a team. Even though your partner may put on a strong front and be tempted to go through this themselves, they need your support and to feel like you’re on their team. You’re there for them no matter what.
Your positive responses and feedback means so much. Thank you again.